[WHISTLING]
"THE LORDS AND LADIES OF HIS COURT
"WERE LIKE SO MANY JEWELED BUTTERFLIES
"FLITTING THROUGH THE PALACE
"TO PLAY HOMAGE TO THE YOUNG KING.
"HE, OF COURSE, FAR OUTSHONE THEM
IN BEAUTY AND WIT AND BRAVERY AND--"
WHAT WAS HE LIKE? WAS HE HANDSOME?
HE WAS ABOUT MY AGE, MY SIZE...
NOT QUITE AS GOOD-LOOKING, PERHAPS.
"WHEN ALL THE BEAUTIFUL MAIDENS
"WHO WERE IN LOVE WITH HIM,
"HE SINGLED OUT THE DAMSEL OF HIS CHOICE
"AND HE SAID TO HER,
"PRITHEE, MOST SWEET AND GENTLE LADY,
THOU MUST BE MY QUEEN."
BAH!
[CHILDREN SCREAMING] UHH!
OH, NO, JOHN!
MOTHER!
WHO'S THE BEST THIEF IN LONDON, EH?
I--I AM, FATHER.
AND WHO MADE YOU THAT?
Y-YOU DID, FATHER.
AND WHY DID I TAKE THE TROUBLE?
S-SO I COULD LOOK AFTER THE FAMILY.
AND?!
AND TO LOOK AFTER YOU
IN YOUR REVERED AND HONORED OLD AGE,
WHEN YOU'LL BE TOO OLD TO STEAL FOR YOURSELF.
RIGHT.
SO YOU DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME AND MY TRAINING
TELLIN' BLOODY FAIRY TALES TO KIDS
OR TRYIN' TO TALK ME ALY-MOUTHED
LIKE A GENTLEMAN!
UHH!
HANDSOME KING, EH?
WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S KING.
YOU CROSS MY PALM WITH 5 SHILLINGS COME SUPPER
OR I'LL RIP YOUR ROYAL BACKSIDE RAW.
NOW GET AWAY FROM HIM, YOU WHIMPERIN' OLD SLUT!
GET OUTTA HERE. GET!
GO ON, OF IT!
[FLUTE PLAYING]
[CROWD CHATTERING]
Tradesman: TRY MY FAT CHICKENS AND DUCKS.
TRY MY FAT CHICKENS AND DUCKS.
[DRUMROLL]
THIS IS THE GREAT...
[DRUM BEATING]
[MAN SHOUTING]
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
[INSTRUMENTS TINKLING]
[CROWD CHATTERING LOUDLY]
[DRUMROLL]
BEHOLD! A BEGGAR AND A VAGRANT!
OTHERS TAKE WARNING!
[WHIP CRACKS]
BEHOLD! A BEGGAR AND A VAGRANT!
OTHERS TAKE WARNING!
AAH! [WHIP CRACKS]
BEHOLD! A BEGGAR AND A VAGRANT.
OTHERS TAKE WARNING!
AAH! [WHIP CRACKS]
BEHOLD! A BEGGAR AND A VAGRANT.
OTHERS TAKE WARNING!
AAH! [WHIP CRACKS]
[CROWD CHATTERING]
OOH!
OH!
OH, TOM!
MADAM, I'M SORRY.
GO ON, GET OUT OF HERE.
[FLUTE PLAYING]
[MAN SHOUTING]
[DRUMROLL]
[CROWD SHOUTING]
[ARGUING INDISTINCTLY]
IT WAS ONLY A SIXPENCE YOU GAVE ME, SIR.
TRULY.
YOU THIEVING SLATTERN, IT WAS A SHILLING!
DO YOU THINK I CAN'T COUNT?
I THINK YOUR SHILLING'S IN YOUR POCKET, SIR.
I SAW YOU PUT ONE IN THERE.
I KEEP MY MONEY IN MY PURSE.
TSK, TSK.
WELL, SAINTS BE WITH US.
WELL, HOW--
BUT--
OH, WELL.
MY PURSE--
IT'S GONE!
MY PURSE!
HEY, STOP!
STOP, THIEF!
HEY, STOP!
STOP, THIEF!
NOT SO FAST, CUTPURSE!
YOU'LL LOSE YOUR EARS FOR THAT.
OHH! CONSTABLE!
HE STOLE MY PURSE!
HE'S A THIEF! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
CATCH HIM! RIGHT.
CATCH HIM!
[SHOUTING]
CATCH THAT MAN!
AAH!
GET THAT MAN!
STOP HIM!
DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
FIND HIM! FIND HIM!
STOP HIM!
HE'S GOT MY PURSE!
IT'S HIM!
STOP! STOP THAT MAN!
STOP HIM!
THERE HE IS!
DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
STOP HIM!
THAT'S HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET AWAY!
AH.
WHAT'S THIS?
UHH.
WRIGGLE, WORM.
IS THE WEIGHT OF ENGLAND TOO HEAVY FOR YOU?
I'VE CARRIED IT THIS 5 AND 30 YEARS.
UNH! WHO ARE YOU?
NO ONE, SIR. NO ONE.
NO ONE?
AH.
THEN IF I BREAK NO ONE'S ARM,
THERE'S NO HARM DONE, EH?
THAT'S TRUE, GOSSIP HENRY.
YOU'LL HAVE HARMED NOBODY.
BREAK AWAY, OLD HAL.
AND YET, SIRE,
YOU MIGHT BE CRIPPLING A HAND
THAT WOULD SERVE YOU ONE DAY.
WHO KNOWS? IF YOU SPARE IT,
IT MIGHT DO GOOD WORK FOR YOUR MAJESTY,
CUTTING SCOTTISH THROATS, FOR EXAMPLE.
IF HE CUTS 'EM NO BETTER THAN YOU DID,
I'D AS WELL BREAK EVERY BONE IN HIS BODY.
YOU FAILED ME IN SCOTLAND, NORFOLK, AND YOU KNOW IT WELL.
I DIDN'T HAVE THE ADVANTAGE
OF YOUR PERSONAL DIRECTION
AT THE BATTLEFIELD, SIRE.
[TOM GRUNTS]
UHH!
LIE STILL, YOU MAGGOT.
I'LL HAVE THAT HAND OF YOURS CUT OFF
AND THE STUMP DIPPED IN BOILING TAR.
WHAT SAY YOU TO THAT, MILORD DUKE?
I SAY THAT HE'S SOME MAN'S SON, SIRE,
AND AS PRECIOUS TO THAT MAN
AS YOUR OWN SON IS TO YOU.
UP, VERMIN.
YOU RUIN MY GARDEN,
FOUL MY FOOT WITH YOUR LOUSY CARCASS.
YOU'RE A THIEF.
I KNOW THE LOOK.
I'M AN HONEST MAN'S SON.
HA HA! EVEN MY SON CAN'T SAY AS MUCH.
LOOK HERE, WORM.
I'LL GIVE YOU 10 YARDS.
WE'LL SEE IF YOU CAN RUN AS WELL AS YOU CRAWL.
GUARDS!
RUN ME THIS RASCAL DOWN!
THRASH HIM BACK TO THE GUTTER HE CAME FROM!
RUN, YOU FOOL, YOUR SKIN IS AT STAKE!
COME ON!
COME ALONG!
+ THIS IS WELL DONE, LAD.
WELL DONE.
WELL, MY LORD NORFOLK,
WOULD YOU TAKE ME TO FIGHT AGAINST THE SCOTS?
HA HA. IF I WAS 20 YEARS YOUNGER
I WOULD BE PROUD TO FOLLOW
YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS AGAINST THE SCOTS.
KEEP YOUR HANDS CLOSER TOGETHER
ON THE QUARTERSTAFF.
YES, I WILL. THANK YOU, MY LORD.
HE WAS A STOUT OLD FIGHTER, WAS HE NOT?
AYE, STOUT ENOUGH.
POLITICIAN.
BEWARE OF SUCH CREATURES, NED.
HE'S THE POPE'S MAN AND CHANGES SIDES
AS EASILY AS YOU CHANGE YOUR SHIRT.
[CHUCKLES]
HE STANDS CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE THRONE
TO COVET IT.
HE HAS AMBITIONS.
NEVER FEAR.
I'LL CHOP HIM DOWN BEFORE I'M THROUGH.
NORFOLK DISLOYAL?
OH, FATHER, ANYONE ELSE BUT--
AH. WE'VE TURNED STATESMAN, HAVE WE?
WAIT TILL YOU WEAR MY CROWN FOR THAT, BOY.
TILL YOU DO,
LEAVE THE LIKES OF NORFOLK TO ME.
YES, FATHER.
AT THE MASQUE TONIGHT,
ARREST THE DUKE OF NORFOLK.
TAKE HIM TO THE TOWER.
THE CHARGE IS HIGH TREASON.
YES, SIRE.
AND THE SUBSTANCE OF THE TREASON?
I DO NOT LIKE THE COLOR OF HIS HAT.
BUT THE MASQUE AND BALL ARE IN YOUR HIGHNESS' HONOR.
IF YOU DO NOT WEAR A COSTUME, ALL WILL BE SPOILED.
IF I WEAR ONE OF THOSE, I WILL BE SPOILED.
WHO ARE THEY TO BE, IN GOD'S NAME?
OH, THIS IS ADONIS,
WHO WAS ADORED BY VENUS.
SIMPLE YET FETCHING.
TAMERLAINE, KING OF THE TURKS,
AND THIS IS THE SPIRIT AND EMBODIMENT OF WAR,
THE PAGAN GOD MARS.
MARS IN THE GRIP OF STRONG DRINK
BY THE LOOK OF HIM.
YOU LAUGH, BIG SISTER.
AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING AS?
I AM NOT HEIR TO THE THRONE.
I CAN GO IN CAP AND APRON FOR ALL ANYONE CARES.
BUT LADY JANE IS TO BE GODDESS OF THE CLOUDS,
ALL IN GOLD AND GAUZE.
VERY BECOMING SHE'LL LOOK.
THEY'RE ALL MONSTROUS.
TAKE THEM ALL OUT.
BUT YOUR HIGHNESS--
I SHALL THINK OF SOMETHING MYSELF.
OR MY CLEVER SISTER BESS WILL ADVISE IT.
SHE'S TO EMBROIDER PRESENTS FOR ME.
I AM A PRINCESS,
NOT A HABERDASHER.
STITCH YOUR OWN SHIRTS, PRINCE OF WALES.
HIGHNESS, I WILL BE VERY GLAD TO SEW SOMETHING FOR THE PRINCE.
I WON'T HEAR OF IT.
[MUTTERING]
IN GOD'S NAME,
WHO THE DEVIL ARE YOU?
OH, CAUGHT.
I BEG YOUR EARNEST PARDON.
I WAS HANGING UP THE CHIMNEY--
I KNOW WHERE YOU WERE.
I ASKED WHO YOU ARE.
GET UP, FELLOW.
WHAT'S YOUR NAME?
PLEASE, YOUR WORSHIP,
I'M POOR TOM CANTY OF OFFAL COURT IN SMITHFIELD.
I--I WAS HIDING FROM THE GUARDS
WHEN THIS GREAT BIG HORRIBLE BASTARD IN THE GARDEN
MADE THEM CHASE ME.
AND I CRAWLED IN YOUR HONOR'S CHIMNEY,
MEANING NO HARM.
DID THE GREAT BIG HORRIBLE...GENTLEMAN
HAVE A GREEN COAT AND A LARGE STAFF?
THAT'S HIM, MILORD.
DO YOU KNOW HIM? GOLD--
WAIT.
HAVE I SEEN YOU BEFORE?
WHERE DID...
TURN YOUR FACE THIS WAY.
LOOK IN THAT MIRROR.
GOLD.
WE LOOK LIKE EACH OTHER.
NO.
YOU LOOK LIKE ME.
WHICH IS INTERESTING, IF RATHER IMPERTINENT.
DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
x9 I'M EDWARD, PRINCE OF WALES.
THE GENTLEMAN WHO SET THE GUARDS ON YOU,
VERY PROPERLY,
IS MY FATHER,
KING HENRY OF ENGLAND.
SO YOU SEE, YOU'VE BLUNDERED RATHER PERILOUSLY,
MASTER CANTY.
YOU'D BETTER EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
OH--OH, LOOK, SIR,
YOUR GRACE...
YOUR MAJESTY,
I COULDN'T HELP IT.
THEY WAS AFTER ME-- THE CONSTABLES--
AND I RAN IN HERE NOT KNOWING.
IT'S LIKE YOUR DAD SAID--
I'M A THIEF, BUT I DIDN'T COME HERE TO STEAL, I SWEAR.
A DISCRIMINATING THIEF.
BUT NOT A VERY EXPERT ONE BY THE LOOK OF YOU.
THIS IS MY BEST SUIT.
CLEANED HER LAST AUGUST.
YOU LOOK LIKE A SCARECROW.
OR SOMEONE GOT UP AS A BEGGAR
FOR A FANCY DRESS...
BALL.
WHY NOT?
TAKE OFF THOSE RAGS.
WELL, COME ON, MAN.
GET THEM OFF YOU. GIVE THEM TO ME.
THERE'S A MASQUE AND BALL AND I MUST HAVE A COSTUME.
I SHALL GO IN YOUR PAUPER'S RAGS.
AND BY THE MASQUE,
YOU SHALL GO IN MY CLOTHES.
WHAT WILL THEY SAY WHEN WE STAND TOGETHER?
THEY'LL NOT KNOW WHICH IS WHICH.
HA HA!
HERE.
OH, I COULDN'T PUT THAT ON.
MY SERVANT SHALL DRESS YOU.
I DON'T MEAN THAT, HIGHNESS.
I MEAN, IT WOULDN'T BE FITTING.
WHAT WOULD YOUR DAD SAY?
HE MAY BE BIG AND GREAT, BUT HE'S NOT ALWAYS HORRIBLE.
CHEER UP, MASTER CANTY,
INSTEAD OF A BEATING, YOU'LL GO BACK TO WOEFUL COURT--
OFFAL COURT.
OFFAL COURT, THEN,
WITH A NEW SUIT
AND A POCKETFUL OF GOLD SOVEREIGNS.
GOLD SOVEREIGNS? HOW MANY?
100? 200?
DONE.
NOW WE CAN TRY DISGUISES.
TO MY CLOTHES YOU ARE WELCOME, MASTER CANTY.
BUT THE PRINCE'S SEAL STAYS WITH THE TRUE PRINCE.
u COME.
GOOD GOD.
YOU, STILL HERE?
HAVE PITY ON A POOR PAUPER, MILORD.
SPARE A CUPPA?
ñ YOUR IMPERTINENCE HAS LASTED LONGER
THAN YOUR LUCK, MY LAD.
I'D BETTER GET YOU OUT OF HERE
WHILE YOUR SKIN'S STILL WHOLE.
GUARD.
OUT WITH THIS MADCAP.
BUT--
SHALL WE THRASH HIM, MY LORD?
NO, NO, NO, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.
JUST SEE HIM SAFELY OUT OF THE PALACE.
BUT--BUT--
BUT--BUT, MY LORD, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!
IT'S ME!
LET GO OF ME!
GET YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF ME!
I COMMAND YOU TO LET GO OF ME
AT ONCE, DO YOU HEAR?
[DOOR SLAMS]
OH, GOOD EVENING, YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.
A SMALL COMMOTION
OF, UH...OF NO MATTER.
UH, I HOPE YOUR GRACE WAS NOT DISTURBED.
BUT--BUT--
OH, GOLD.
[BREATHING HARD]
LET GO OF ME!
TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF ME!
AAH!
I WARNED YOU!
[CROWD LAUGHING]
Z YOU SCUM!
YOU'LL HANG FOR THIS!
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
[HOOTING AND LAUGHTER]
NOW GET AWAY,
OR WE'LL TAKE YOU IN AND TIE YOU UP
AND FLOG YOU TO BLOODY RAGS.
[DOOR SLAMS]
BUT IT IS TRUE.
/9 I AM THE PRINCE OF WALES.
[ALL LAUGHING]
COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!
CAN I BE YOUR PRINCESS, DEARIE?
I'LL CROWN YOUR ROYAL HIGHNESS.
[ALL LAUGHING]
I TELL YOU AGAIN,
YOU PACK OF UNMANNERLY CURS,
I AM THE PRINCE OF WALES.
LOOK.
HERE IS MY SEAL.
[CROWD MURMURING]
THE ROYAL SEAL OF ENGLAND.
NOW WILL YOU BELIEVE ME?
GOD'S TRUTH.
BLINKING DIAMONDS.
NAY, THAT'S TOO PRETTY A TRINKET
TO ROUND A MADMAN'S DIRTY NECK.
THAT, SIR, IS FAR TOO DIRTY A HAND
EVEN TO LAY UPON A MADMAN.
FOR IT IS PLAIN HE IS MAD!
NOW TUCK THAT BENEATH YOUR SHIRT, BOY,
AND GET BEHIND ME QUICK.
AND YOU--
YOU ANIMATED PIECE OF OFFAL,
:v YOU TAKE ONE MORE STEP AND I SWEAR TO GOD
I'LL SPLIT YOU LIKE A GOOSE.
NOW BACK OFF THERE, SIR!
AND LEAVE THIS POOR IDIOT ALONE, WILL YOU?
I AM THE PRINCE OF WALES.
AYE, BOY, AND I AM IVAN THE TERRIBLE.
NOW BACK OFF!
DON'T WANT IT ALL TO YOURSELF,
DO YOU, CAPTAIN?
SHARE AND SHARE ALIKE, EH?
COME ON, NOW.
WE'LL SPLIT IT. 50-50, EH?
HERE, TAKE MY CLOAK.
UNH!
UHH!
AAH!
UHH!
OHH!
BACK! BACK!
MY CLOAK.
MY CLOAK-- AGAINST THE WALL, BOY.
TO THE STEPS!
HEY.
UHH!
HO HO HO HO.
YAAHH!
RUN!
I SUGGEST WE DEPART.
RABBLE! PIKERS!
COME ON!
I'LL BUILD A GALLOWS FOR YOU TOMORROW.
YOU CAN'T HIDE FROM MY JUSTICE, YOU PIKERS!
M COME, COME, COME!
[SHOUTING]
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
[KNOCKING]
OOF!
[KNOCKING] HIGHNESS?
OH!
[THUD]
YOUR HIGHNESS.
OOH--NO, NO,
I-I'M NOT.
YOUR HIGHNESS?
I--I MEAN,
I-I'M NOT WHAT YOU THINK I AM.
I-I'M NOT THE PRINCE OF WALES.
I'M A PAUPER.
A PAUPER.
WELL, INDEED YOU ARE, ROYAL HIGHNESS.
I SEE WHAT IT IS.
YOUR IMPROVISED COSTUME
FOR THE BALL.
[INHALES]
A DELIGHTFUL CONCEIT. HEH.
[PROCESSIONAL MUSIC PLAYS]
[MUSIC STOPS]
[MURMURING]
♪ THE HUNT IS UP ♪
♪ AND IT IS WELL NIGH DAY ♪
♪ AND HEARTY OUR KING, HE'S GONE HUNTING ♪
♪ TO BRING A DEER TO BAY ♪
IN THE KING'S NAME...
HENRY, I BELIEVE.
OH, ARE YOU-- ARE YOU ARRESTING ME?
WELL, I'VE BEEN IN THE COURT OF THE TUDORS FOR 40 YEARS.
I SUPPOSE IT'S ABOUT MY TURN.
MAY I ASK ON WHAT CHARGE?
HIGH TREASON, MY LORD.
OH. MOST FLATTERING.
A BELTED EARL TO ARREST ME,
A GUARD OF YEOMEN TO CONVEY ME TO THE TOWER,
THEREAFTER TO THE BLOCK.
THESE ARE ROYAL HONORS.
MY LORD.
I THOUGHT SUCH DISTINGUISHED TREATMENT
WAS RESERVED FOR HIS MAJESTY'S
UNFORTUNATE WIVES.
[MURMURING]
♪ AND HEARTY OUR KING, HE'S GONE HUNTING ♪
♪ TO BRING A DEER TO BAY ♪
[MUSIC PLAYS]
THIS IS WELL DONE, MY CHILD.
WELL DONE.
A PRETTY GODDESS NEED NOT STAND
ON HER DIVINE DIGNITY WITH A KING.
AHH!
HA HA HA HA HA!
[STAFF TAP 3 TIMES]
p
[FANFARE PLAYS]MES]
HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS THE PRINCE OF WALES.
[MURMURING]
HERE, YOUR MAJESTY.
YOUR MAJESTY, I'M NOT THE PRINCE OF WALES.
[GRUNTS]
YOU NEVER LOOKED LESS LIKE HIM,
I'LL BE BOUND.
HA HA!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[ALL LAUGHING]
AH HA HA!
GET UP, LAD! GET UP,
BEFORE I DO MYSELF A MISCHIEF.
HA HA HA HA HA!
COME HERE.
[CONTINUES LAUGHING]
HA HA HA HA!
A VERY PROPER PAUPER, ON MY SOUL.
AS RAGGED A RASCAL IS HE--
[LAUGHING AND WHEEZING]
I NEVER DOUBTED YOUR INTELLIGENCE, NED,
BUT I NEVER SUSPECTED YOU HAD WIT.
HA HA HA HA HA!
OH, BUT--
SUCH A PEACOCK MUST-- MUST LEAD THE BALL.
UH...LADY JANE,
WILL THE GODDESS DANCE A GALLIARD
WITH THE PAUPER? HUH?
VERY GLADLY, SIRE.
AHH.
I CANNOT DANCE A GALLIARD.
I--I KNOW NOT HOW.
TO BE SURE--
WHAT PAUPER DOES?
GET UP, BOY!
COME, LADY JANE.
MUSIC MASTER!
A GALLIARD FOR OUR PAUPER PRINCE!
[LAUGHING]
[GALLIARD MUSIC PLAYS]
[LAUGHING]
[GASPING]
GOD BLESS THE PRINCE OF WALES!
GOD BLESS...
BUT I'M NOT THE PRINCE OF WALES.
BUT I AM THE PRINCE OF WALES.
YES, OF COURSE YOU ARE.
WHAT ABOUT THE OTHER FELLOW,
THE ONE YOU CHANGED YOUR CLOTHES WITH?
WHO'S HE?
I'M NOT SURE.
RANTY, SHANTY.
NO, IT WAS CANTY.
TOM CANTY.
A THIEF, HE SAID.
FROM OFFAL COURT.
WHEREVER THAT IS.
OFFAL COURT. THAT'S IN, UH...
IN SMITHFIELD, OR WHAT USED TO BE.
WHAT THEN?
THEN WE WERE MISTAKEN,
ONE FOR THE OTHER,
AND THE GUARDS SEIZED ME.
AND THEN THEY BEAT ME.
THEY BEAT ME.
AND THEN THEY FLUNG ME OUT INTO
[DOG BARKING]
AND THEN YOU CAME ALONG.
[INDISTINCT]
I MUST WAIT BEFORE I GO MAD.
[DOG BARKING]
YES, WELL,THEN--
WELL, FIRST DRINK.
IT'S THE BEST MEDICINE I KNOW
FOR AN OVERHEATED IMAGINATION...
OR LUNACY.
I'MM NOT A LUNATIC!
I AM THE PRINCE!
[SIGHS]
YES, I KNOW YOU ARE.
YOU--YOU, WHOEVER YOU ARE--
I AM MILES HENDON.
IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME,
THEN WHY DID YOU RESCUE ME FROM THAT RABBLE?
WHAT WAS I TO YOU?
WHAT PROFIT COULD YOU HOPE FOR
BY RISKING YOURSELF FOR ME,
UNLESS YOU KNEW I WAS THE PRINCE?
THAT'S CERTAINLY ROYAL REASONING.
I SAW ONE MAN STANDING UP ALONE,
UNARMED, NOT AFRAID,
TALKING ABOUT WHAT HE BELIEVED IN.
IT'S ALL ONE TO ME
WHETHER HE WAS THE EMPEROR OF CHINA
OR A MOONSTRUCK MADMAN.
CHEERS.
YOU DO NOT SIT IN MY PRESENCE.
Ñx÷ [SPITS OUT DRINK]
NOW LOOK YOU, MY MASTER.
I AM NOT A PATIENT MAN.
YOU SAVED MY LIFE WHEN I WAS DOWN ON THE STEPS,
AND ANY MAN WHO KEEPS STEEL OUT OF MILES HENDON
HAS A FRIEND FOR LIFE,
BUT DO NOT TRESPASS ON MY FRIENDSHIP FURTHER
BY STUFFING MY EARS WITH DRIVEL
ABOUT BEING A PRINCE OR THE FACT
THAT I MAY OR MAY NOT SIT DOWN IN MY OWN ROOM
IN MY OWN CHAMBERS, GOD SAVE THE--
DO YOU HEAR?!
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
WHEW!
BUT I AM EDWARD, PRINCE OF WALES.
LOOK. DO YOU NOT KNOW PROOF WHEN--
I TOLD YOU TO KEEP THAT DAMN THING
OUT OF MY SIGHT.
] YOU COULD SWING 10 TIMES FOR THIS, BOY.
ñ WHERE DID YOU GET IT?
IT IS THE PRINCE OF WALES' SEAL.
THEN THE SOONER YOU GIVE IT BACK TO HIM THE BETTER,
OR LOSE IT.
DON'T TELL ME HOW YOU CAME BY IT.
BUT, WAIT, THIS AMAZING FELLOW
THAT LEAPT FROM YOUR CHIMNEY IN THE PALACE,
TOM CANTY, HE WAS A...
HE WAS A THIEF AS I RECALL, WAS HE NOT?
WELL, MASTER CANTY, YOU MAY REST HERE FOR TONIGHT,
BUT TOMORROW YOU RETURN TO OFFAL COURT.
I WILL NOT.
I WILL GO TO MY RIGHTFUL--
THAT IS WHAT I SAID, zXAND ON MY OATH,
THAT IS WHERE YOU ARE GOING TO GO, SIR,
BECAUSE I WILL TAKE YOU THERE.
I'M TIRED.
AND I ACHE.
I SHALL SLEEP.
Crier: 10:00, A FINE NIGHT
AND ALL'S WELL!
YOU WILL SLEEP IN THE DOORWAY,
BECAUSE I HAVE NO OTHER GUARDS.
ñ< WITH YOUR SWORD DRAWN.
WELL, I'M, BY GOD...
MAD AS A HATTER.
POOR FRIENDLESS LITTLE RAT.
ñ0bii GOOD NIGHT, YOUR RAGGED HIGHNESS.
GOOD NIGHT.
va MASTER HENDON.
AYE?
YOUR CLOTHES ARE SHABBY,
BUT SOMETIMES YOU TALK LIKE A GENTLEMAN.
WHAT ARE YOU?
I AM A SOLDIER OF...
FORTUNE.
THEN THAT PROBABLY EXPLAINS YOUR BARRACK ROOM MANNERS.
STILL, YOU'VE SHOWN ME GREAT KINDNESS.
FOR YOU BRAVE SERVICES,
IS THERE ANY HONOR THAT I, EDWARD TUDOR,
CAN BESTOW ON YOU?
WELL, YOUR MAJESTY IS VERY KIND.
UH, YES, THERE IS ONE THING.
SINCE I DESPISE DISCOMFORT,
MAY I AND MY HEIRS FOREVER BE GRANTED THE PRIVILEGE
OF BEING SEATED IN THE PRESENCE OF ROYALTY?
AND OF GOING TO SLEEP IF NECESSARY.
[CLEARS THROAT]
THIS IS A GREAT DEAL TO ASK, BUT...
IT'S GRANTED.
GRANTED.
NOT THE PRINCE?!
[COUGHS AND WHEEZES]
NOT THE PRINCE?
DO I NOT KNOW MY OWN SON?
IS HE NOT STANDING THERE BEFORE MY OWN EYES?
WILL YOU HUMOR HIM IN HIS WILD TALE?
HE'S NO IMPOSTER.
I KNOW MY OWN FLESH AND BLOOD.
OR DO YOU THINK ME MAD, THEN?
NO, SIRE.
YOUR MAJESTY'S MIND IS CLEAR ENOUGH.
WE HAVE SPENT SOME 4 HOURS NOW
IN FRUITLESS PERSUASION.
THERE STANDS THE PRINCE,
BUT HE DENIES HIMSELF,
EVEN TO YOUR MAJESTY.
MY LORD...
YOUR SON IS MAD.
NO!
[COUGHING AND WHEEZING]
NO!
[COUGHING]
THERE IS NO OTHER CONCLUSION, SIRE.
DR. BUTTES TELLS ME THAT SUCH...DELUSIONS
HAVE BEEN KNOWN BEFORE IN MEN.
ONE DAY AS SANE AS YOU OR I,
AND THE NEXT...
AH, GOD'S BLOOD, HERTFORD.
[LABORED BREATH]
CALL HIM AGAIN.
SIRE.
ñ LET ME SPEAK WITH HIM.
YOUR HIGHNESS.
I'M NOT HIGHNESS, SIR.
NED...
MY CHILD.
YOU KNOW ME?
uv YES, SIRE.
YOU'RE THE KING.
BUT I'M NOT YOUR NED.
I'M TOM.
NED OR TOM--
WHAT DO I CARE?
IT'S YOUR OLD DAD, BOY.
YOU WILL NOT DENY ME?
YOU WILL NOT BREAK MY HEART?
OH, I WOULDN'T DO THAT, SIRE.
BUT I TOLD YOU,
I'M NOT THE PRINCE OF WALES.
I'M TOM CANTY, A PAUPER.
STILL THE SAME STORY.
HE TRULY BELIEVES IT, SIRE.
HAVE DONE.
RAISE ME.
GIVE ME YOUR SHOULDER, NED, BOY.
[LABORED BREATHING]
NOW HEAR ME.
MY SON IS MAD.
BUT HE SHALL NOT BE ALWAYS SO.
OVERSTUDY HAS DONE IT.
LET HIM HAVE SPORTS
AND WHOLESOME THINGS ABOUT HIM,
SO THAT HE BE WELL AGAIN.
HE IS MAD, BUT...
HE IS MY SON...
AND ENGLAND'S.
AND MAD OR SANE, HE SHALL REIGN.
NOW MARK THIS...
ALL OF YOU.
ANY MAN WHO SPEAKS OF THIS...
THIS ILLNESS OF THE PRINCE'S,
SPEAKS TREASON
AND SHALL PAY FOR IT WITH HIS HEAD.
NO MAN SHALL SPEAK OF IT.
NOT EVEN THE PRINCE.
THE PRINCE WILL NOT DENY HIS ROYALTY.
HE WILL NOT CALL HIMSELF A PAUPER,
NOR SPEAK AS A PAUPER SPEAKS.
NOW GO, ALL OF YOU.
[DOOR SQUEAKS AND CLOSES]
WERE HE A THOUSAND TIMES MAD,
YET IS HE PRINCE OF WALES STILL.
MY LORD, HAVE YOU NO... DOUBTS?
DOUBTS, MY LORD?
GO ON, WE ARE ALONE.
YOU ARE THE PRINCE'S UNCLE
AND HAVE KNOWN HIM SINCE BIRTH,
BUT IT SEEMS ODD TO ME THAT THIS MADNESS
SHOULD HAVE CHANGED HIM SO MUCH.
HIS WALK, HIS SPEECH,
AND MOST OF ALL, HIS MANNER.
OH, HE IS JUST THE SAME,
BUT THESE ARE SOMEHOW DIFFERENT.
HE IS LESS PRINCELY THAN HE WAS.
MY LORD, TAKE NO OFFENSE,
BUT WHEN I HEAR HIM SWEAR THAT HE IS NOT THE PRINCE--
MY LORD,
THAT'S TREASON.
NO. NO, MY LORD, I MEANT NO HARM.
I--I AM DOUBTLESS WRONG.
NO, INDEED, I WAS AT FAULT,
I CONFESS.
SAY NOTHING OF IT.
INDEED, I SHALL NOT.
WE MUST ALL FORGET SUCH DOUBTS.
THINK, NOW.
IF HE WERE AN IMPOSTER AND SWORE HE WAS THE PRINCE,
THAT WOULD BE NATURAL AND UNDERSTANDABLE.
BUT WOULD ANY IMPOSTER,
ACCEPTED BY THE KING AND THE COURT AND EVERYONE
AS THE PRINCE, DENY HIS ROYALTY
AND CLAIM TO BE AN IMPOSTER?
UH...NO.
NO. NO, MY LORD.
PRECISELY.
MADNESS IS MAD
AND MADE UP OF STRANGE CONTRADICTIONS AND FOLLIES.
WHY, I ONCE KNEW A MAN
WHO SWORE HIS HEAD WAS MADE OF SPANISH GLASS
AND WOULD SUFFER NONE TO TOUCH IT IN CASE IT BROKE.
HA HA. WELL,
OUR PRINCE IS NOT AS MAD AS THAT
AND WILL RECOVER,
FOR HE IS THE PRINCE AND SOON WILL BE OUR KING,
EVEN IF IN HIS OWN MIND HE'S NO MORE THAN A POOR PAUPER.
WHERE IN THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?
CRAWLIN' AROUND IN A SEWER
BY THE LOOK OF YOU.
OR HAVE YOU BEEN RUTTI'' AFTER SOME SLUT
IN THE STEWS, EH?
YOU DIRTY LITTLE APE.
WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO DO,
BREAK YOUR POOR MOTHER'S HEART?
NO, JOHN, HE DON'T--
SHUT UP!
I TOLD YOU I WANTED 5 SHILLINGS COME SUPPER.
WELL, YOU MISSED IT.
NIPPER!
HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH.
BUT YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR BREAKFAST, EH?
HEH?
I ASK YOU AGAIN, FRIEND,
IS THIS YOUR SON?
I'M HIS FATHER.
WHATEVER BUSINESS THAT IS OF YOURS.
MY BUSINESS IS WITH HIS WELFARE,
WHICH IS WHY I'M RETURNING HIM TO THE BOSOM
OF HIS LOVING FAMILY.
NOW, I THINK THAT HE IS MAD.
BUT THAT'S NO WONDER.
EVEN IF YOU ARE HIS FATHER, HE'S NO COMMON BOY,
SO LOOK YOU TREAT HIM KINDLY.
I'LL USE THE BASTARD THE WAY HE DESERVES.
SO LOOK YOU MIND YOUR OWN AFFAIRS.
[PIGS SQUEALING]
USE HIM KINDLY.
[PIGS SQUEALING]
REMEMBER.
MADAM, TAKE CARE OF YOUR PRINCELING.
AAH!
HOLD.
NIPPER!
GO TO BED, FRIEND.
I'LL PUT YOU TO BED, BULLY.
GOODWIFE,
WE SHALL NEED HOT WATER AND BANDAGES PRESENTLY.
CLEAN BANDAGES FOR ME, PLEASE.
AAH!
HEY!
DICKEN, GET BEHIND HIM!
YAAH!
GAAH! GAAH!
YAAH! YAAH!
AAH!
HOOLIGAN!
AAH! OOH!
HA HA. HA HA!
AHH...
UHH!
[COUGHING AND SPUTTERING]
[COUGHING]
MP [PANTING]
SWEET MARY. YOU'VE KILLED HIM!
KILLED HIM?
KILLED HIM, HAVE I?
WELL, DID HE ASK FOR IT?
DIDN'T HE BEG AND BLOODY WELL PRAY FOR IT?
HEY! YOU SAW IT.
HE STRUCK THE FIRST BLOW, DIDN'T HE?
YOU'RE A WITNESS.
HE STARTED THE WHOLE THING.
MURDERER.
MURDERER!
WELL, DIDN'T HE?
JOHN, IT'S GALLOWS FOR SUPPER
UNLESS YOU GET OUT OF HERE.
NOW COME ON, STIR YOURSELF.
THE PRIEST WILL PEACH ON YOU
EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES.
WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW HE'S DEAD?
HE'S STIFFER THAN THE POPE'S CONSCIENCE.
NOW, COME ON, BEFORE THE WORD SPREADS.
YOU'LL HAVE TO MAKE A RUN FOR IT OUT OF LONDON.
COME ON.
BUT WHERE CAN I GO?
HOW WILL I LIVE?
JOIN UP WITH THE RUFFLER'S GANG FOR A WHILE.
OUT HENDON WAY-- HE'LL HIDE YOU UP.
OH, AND, UH, TAKE HIM WITH YOU.
HE CAN STEAL ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF YOU.
WILL YOU WAIT TILL THE SHERIFF'S MEN
COME AND GET YOU? STIR, MAN!
[DOG BARKING]
YEAH, I'LL, UH, I'LL GET SOME THINGS.
[BARKING]
AND THEN,
THERE WAS A PARDONER,
AN ALMONER,
AND A PRIEST,
AND THEY WERE ALL GOING TO JERUSALEM.
I HEARD THAT STORY 40 YEARS AGO
AND I DIDN'T LAUGH THEN.
AAH! GOD'S BLOOD AND BONES, LET BE, YOU BUTCHER.
WHERE DID YOU STUDY MEDICINE,
IN A SLAUGHTERHOUSE?
IF I MIGHT BLEED YOUR MAJESTY?
I HAVE NO BLOOD TO SPARE, YOU DOLT.
HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS
THE PRINCE OF WALES.
[HENRY WHEEZING]
AHH. COME TO ME, BOY...
[CHUCKLES]
[COUGHING]
BEFORE THESE SCOUNDRELS MURDER ME IN MY BED.
AH.
YOU LOOK WELL, LAD.
MORE LIKE YOURSELF.
HERE...GIVE ME YOUR HAND.
[LABORED BREATHING]
I AM...ILL.
YOU WILL HAVE TO DEPUTIZE FOR ME AT THE--
[WHEEZING]
GUILD HALL BANQUET TONIGHT.
AYE...
ALL MEN MUST SEE YOU--
SEE YOU ARE WELL...
SO THEY WILL KNOW
THE KINGDOM WILL BE IN SAFE HANDS
WHEN I...
KISS ME, EDWARD.
HERTFORD.
[LABORED BREATHING]
IS THAT SNAKE NORFOLK SNUG IN THE TOWER?
PARLIAMENT HAS SEALED HIS DOOM, SIRE,
WITH THE GREAT SEAL.
[LABORED BREATHING]
WHEN IT'S SEALED WITH THE EDGE
OF THE GREAT AXE,
I'LL GO CONTENT.
[WHEEZING]
"AND FOR THE HIGH TREASON THAT YOU HAVE COMMITTED,
"THE SENTENCE UPON YOU,
"THOMAS HOWARD, DUKE OF NORFOLK,
"IS THAT YOU BE TAKEN HENCE IN THE MORNING
"AND YOUR HEAD STRUCK FROM YOUR BODY,
AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY UPON YOU."
AND UPON YOU, TOO, SIR, WHEN YOUR TIME COMES.
HIGHNESS.
IT'S KIND OF YOU TO COME TO VISIT ME, YOUR HIGHNESS.
I REGRET I HAVE LITTLE
IN THE WAY OF, UH, HOSPITALITY.
MY LORD,
I WISH I COULD HELP YOU,
AS YOU HELPED THAT POOR PAUPER BOY
IN THE KING'S GARDEN.
AND THEN HOW YOU SENT HIM OUT OF THE PALACE
WITHOUT PUNISHMENT.
U, THAT WAS VERY KIND OF YO MY LORD,
TO A POOR AND BEGGARLY KNAVE.
WELL, IT'S JUST SUCH POOR AND BEGGARLY KNAVES
THAT HOLD ENGLAND'S CONSCIENCE
AND WIN HER BATTLES.
[BAGPIPES PLAYING]
I'VE SEEN THEM, AND I REMEMBER.
BESIDES, THE OLDER ONE GETS,
THE MORE ONE REALIZES THE NECESSITY
OF A FEW GOOD DEEDS
TO SET ON THE CREDIT SIDE OF THE LEDGER.
I'VE DONE ENOUGH HARM IN MY TIME, GOD KNOWS.
IF ONLY I COULD...
I'M DEEPLY SORRY, MY LORD.
WELL, I WON'T PRETEND
THAT I'M GLAD MYSELF, HIGHNESS.
BUT AS AN OLD SOLDIER WHO'S FACED IT A HUNDRED TIMES,
YOU KNOW WHAT DEATH REALLY MEANS?
IT'S A CURE FOR RHEUMATISM.
SO...GOD BE WITH YOUR GRACE.
MY LOYAL GREETINGS TO THE KING, YOUR FATHER.
REMIND HIM THAT WE SHALL MEET AGAIN...
VERY SOON.
[FANFARE PLAYING, CHEERING]
Man: LONG LIVE PRINCE EDWARD!
IS YOUR HIGHNESS NOT WELL?
UH...NO.
YES, PERFECTLY WELL.
THEN WAVE, YOU FOOL.
[CROWD CHEERING]
NO! NO! THAT'S THE PAUPER! HE'S AN IMPOSTER!
I'M THE PRINCE OF WALES!
WILL YOU HOLD YOUR TONGUE, YOU RAVING FOOL!
DO YOU WANT US ARRESTED FOR TREASON?
I'M THE PRINCE OF--
SHUT UP!
THE LAD--HE'S MY SON.
A LUNATIC.
HE'S AN IDIOT.
HE MEANS NO HARM.
NO HARM. HEH HEH HEH.
HE JUST HAS MAD FANCIES.
GOD BLESS THE PRINCE OF WALES!
GOD SAVE PRINCE EDWARD!
GOD BLESS HIM!
[MUSIC PLAYING]
NO.
NO, IT'S SURE TO GET SOILED.
TAKE IT AWAY.
CAREFULLY.
[MURMURING]
IF YOU THINK IT MAY BE POISONED,
WHY NOT TRY IT ON A DOG
OR A PLUMBER?
YES, YOUR HIGHNESS.
[GROANING]
[LABORED BREATHING]
ARE YOU TRYING...
[WHEEZING]
TO AMUSE ME?
[WHEEZING]
NORFOLK IS CONDEMNED.
[WHEEZING]
GOOD.
NOW IT WILL BE...
A RACE BETWEEN US.
HOW SHORT A TIME
LIFE HAS BEEN.
BE AT PEACE, SIRE.
[LABORED BREATHING]
TRY TO SLEEP.
SLEEP.
HUH.
A PRIEST'S ADVICE.
[WHEEZING]
SLIP MEEKLY INTO DEATH...
[WHEEZING]
WHIMPERING PRAYERS...
[WHEEZING]
NO.
I AM A KING...
OF ENGLAND.
I WILL LOOK GOD IN THE EYE.
Z MONKS...
ñ% MONKS...
♪ THE HUNT IS UP ♪
♪ AND IT IS WELL NIGH DAY ♪
♪ AND HEARTY OUR KING, HE'S GONE HUNTING ♪
♪ TO BRING A DEER TO BAY ♪
[MUSIC PLAYS]
♪ SUMMER IS A-COMING IN ♪
♪ LOUDLY SING, CUCKOO ♪
♪ GROWETH SEED AND BLOWETH MEAD ♪
♪ AND SPRINGETH WOOD ANEW ♪
♪ SING, CUCKOO ♪
♪ EWE BEATETH AFTER LAMB ♪
♪ LOWS AFTER CALF THE COW ♪
♪ BULLOCK STARTETH, BUCK VERTETH ♪
♪ AND MERRY SING CUCKOO ♪
♪ CUCKOO, CUCKOO ♪
♪ WELL WE SINGEST CUCKOO ♪
♪ NOR CEASE THOU NEVER NOW ♪
♪ SUMMER IS A-COMING IN ♪
♪ LOUDLY SING CUCKOO ♪
♪ GROWETH SEED AND BLOWETH MEAD ♪
♪ AND SPRINGETH WOOD ANEW ♪
♪ SING, CUCKOO ♪
♪ EWE BEATETH AFTER LAMB ♪
♪ LOWS AFTER CALF THE COW... ♪
[SPEAKING SOFTLY]
THE KING...IS DEAD.
[GASPING AND MURMURING]
LONG LIVE THE KING!
All: LONG LIVE THE KING!
[FANFARE PLAYS]
LONG LIVE THE KING!
BUT I'M NOT.
THE KING!
All: THE KING!
MY LORD HERTFORD.
SIRE.
IF I GIVE A COMMAND,
WILL IT BE OBEYED?
THE KING'S WORD IS LAW,
YOUR MAJESTY.
THEN SEND WORD TO THE TOWER
THAT THE KING COMMANDS
THAT THE DUKE OF NORFOLK SHALL NOT DIE.
[MURMURING]
YOUR MAJESTY.
LONG LIVE EDWARD, THE KING!
[CHEERING]
[TO TUNE OF GREENSLEEVES] ♪ OH, YOUNG KING EDWARD ♪
♪ IS ALL MY JOY ♪
♪ AND LITTLE KING NEDDY IS MY DELIGHT ♪
UHH.
[WATER SPLASHING]
BRRRR!
UHH! UH! UHH! UH--
BE QUIET OR YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER MOUTH
UNDER YOUR CHIN.
WHERE'S THE BOY? WHERE DID CANTY TAKE HIM?
I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW.
THEN GOOD-BYE, MASTER.
AAH! AH--AH--
HE'S TOOK HIM AWAY, SIR, OUT OF LONDON.
I SWEAR TO GOD.
THEY'VE GONE TO JOIN RUFFLER'S GANG.
OUT HENDON WAY.
IT'S THE TRUTH, SIR. HONEST.
WELL, IT BETTER BE, FOR YOUR SAKE.
OTHERWISE YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF
EATING YOUR OWN ADAM'S APPLE, DO YOU HEAR?
AAH!
UHH!
YOUR FINGERNAILS ARE FILTHY.
UHH! OH!
AAH!
[SPLASH]
[SIGHS, MUTTERS]
CAN'T BE FAR.
AH, THE BLOODY DARK.
COME ON!
YAAH! YAAH!
WHERE AWAY, FRIEND?
LOST YOUR WAY, FRIEND?
FRIGHTENED OF THE DARK, FRIEND?
UHH...I'M NOT ARMED.
I MEAN NO HARM.
I'M LOOKING FOR THE RUFFLER.
OH, THE RUFFLER, IS IT?
AND WHAT MIGHT YOUR BUSINESS BE WITH HIM?
AND WHAT MIGHT YOU BE?
A BEGGAR? AN AMBASSADOR?
A SPY?
NO, A FRIEND.
I NEED HIS HELP.
OH, HIS HELP. CAN YOU PAY?
AND CAN YOU FIGHT?
CAN YOU STEAL?
OH, I MUST SEE HIM.
ARE YOU SURE?
ARE YOU WISE?
ARE YOU READY?
AH HA HA HA!
COME ON, LET'S TAKE HIM, NOW.
WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME?
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!
[LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]
WHAT ARE YOU TAKING ME?
LET GO! OK!
[LAUGHING]
[ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE]
GET OFF MY NECK, WILL YA?
COME ON, PICK HIM UP! PICK HIM UP!
[LAUGHTER]
HELLO, RUFFLER.
VISITORS FOR YOU.
THEY WANT YOUR HELP.
[CHEERING AND CLAPPING]
& WE'RE HONEST FOLK, SIR.
WELL, THEN, YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE.
IF YOU ARE A THIEF, SAY,
OR--OR A VAGABOND,
EVEN A NOBLEMAN OR A LAWYER.
MY SON'S A THIEF.
THE BEST IN LONDON, SIR.
A THIEF, YOU SAY?
LIGHT-FINGERED.
CUTPURSE!
PICKPOCKET!
[LAUGHTER]
IT'S A LIE!
I'M NOT A THIEF!
THAT LYING MURDERER IS NOT MY FATHER.
I'M THE PRINCE OF WALES.
HA HA HA!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[ALL SHOUTING]
A LYING MURDERER
AND A MADMAN.
WELCOME, FRIENDS.
MANDRAKE, BRING THEM CLOSER. LET'S HAVE A LOOK AT THEM.
HEY...
HE'S NOT VIOLENT?
WE ARE DELICATE, FRAGILE PEOPLE.
OH, NO.
THEN UNLOOSE HIM.
NIGHT OWL. LINKLIGHT.
BRING FOOD AND DRINK FOR THESE WORTHY UNWORTHIES.
LET US SHOW THEM THE HOSPITALITY
OF THE STURDY BEGGARS.
MOLL, MANDRAKE, HODGE.
SING THEM OUR ANTHEM, UM...
[SQUEALS] HA HA!
WHEEE!
COME, MANDRAKE, HODGE!
HODGE! AH HA HA HA!
[BEATING RHYTHM]
HARK, HARK, THE DOGS DO BARK,
THE BEGGARS ARE COMING TO TOWN,
SOME ON JADES
AND SOME WITH BAYS
AND SOME IN A VELVET GOWN.
HARK, HARK, THE DOGS DO BARK,
TO TROUBLE THE STATE AND CROWN,
SOME WEAR SATIN AND SOME SPEAK LATIN,
THE BEGGARS ARE COMING TO TOWN.
SHH!
[LAUGHTER]
BUT NOW YOU MUSTN'T MIND THE BOY, SIR.
HE'S A GOOD THIEF, BUT A BIT CRAZY.
AND, UH,
AND HE SPEAKS THE TRUTH.
AT LEAST ABOUT YOU.
HEH HEH HEH.
LIAR AND MURDERER.
YES.
YOU HAVE THE GALLOWS LOOK ABOUT YOU, BULLY.
TELL US...WHO YOU KILLED.
TELL US!
COME ON, TELL US!
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.
ISN'T IT ALWAYS.
WE ARE ALL HERE BY ACCIDENT. YEA.
[LAUGHTER]
WE ARE STURDY BEGGARS, HMM?
THIEVES.
OUTLAWS.
CRIPPLES.
HARLOTS, RUNAWAYS.
[CHUCKLES] AYE.
AND, UH...
UNFROCKED PRIESTS,
DISPOSSESSED MONKS,
BANISHED YEOMAN, STARVING SOLDIERS.
PERHAPS EVEN A GENTLEMAN OR TWO HERE OR THERE.
WHO KNOWS?
SO, WELCOME, MURDERER, AND YOUR LUNATIC.
OH, HE'S NOT A TRUE LUNATIC, SIR,
AND HE STEALS WELL.
BUT HE THINKS HE'S THE PRINCE OF WALES.
[LAUGHTER]
THEN HE IS BEHIND THE TIME.
DOESN'T HE KNOW THAT THE OLD KING IS DEAD
AND IN HELL?
GOD REST HIM!
All: GOD REST HIM! GOD REST HIM IN HELL!
GOD REST HIM, IN HELL.
WHY I SHOULD WISH HIM ILL,
I DO NOT KNOW.
TRUE, HE DID BREAK THE MONASTERY
WHERE I WAS A MONK
AND DRIVE US ALL OUT TO STARVE.
WHEN I WAS A MONK,
I LIVED WELL, TOOK FROM THE POOR,
AND HAD ALL THE NUNS I WANTED.
NOW THAT I AM A STURDY BEGGAR,
I LIVE WELL, TAKE FROM THE POOR,
AND, UH, ALTHOUGH THEY MAY NOT BE NUNS...
THEY HAVEN'T CHANGED THEIR HABITS.
[LAUGHTER]
SO, AS TO KING HENRY'S DAMNATION,
I AM IMPARTIAL.
A TOAST TO THE NEW KING.
EDWARD!
LONG MAY HE REIGN
AND MAY HE LOOK MORE KINDLY
UPON DISHONEST MONKS, HONEST BEGGARS,
AND ALL POOR FOLK THAN HIS FATHER DID!
WHY SHOULD HE?
WHY SHOULD HE CARE?
WILL HE BE ANY BETTER THAN HIS FATHER WAS?
YOU SAY KING HENRY BROKE YOUR MONASTERY, RUFFLER.
YOU WERE LUCKY.
I WERE A PLOWMAN BEFORE THEY ENCLOSED MY LAND.
THREW ME INTO THE ROAD WITH MY WIFE AND BABES,
TO BE WHIPPED FROM TOWN TO TOWN.
LOOK THERE.
[MURMURING AND GASPING]
TO HELL WITH YOUR KINGS,
HENRY AND EDWARD, I SAY,
AND LET SUCH THINGS BE.
AMEN.
All: AMEN.
'TIS A CRUEL WORLD.
I WAS A FORESTER TILL THEY CUT DOWN THE TREES.
THEN WHEN I POACHED TO FEED MY FAMILY, THEY...
[MURMURING]
MY WIFE WAS HANGED.
THEY SAID IT WAS FOR BLASPHEMY.
IF I'M CAUGHT...
THE LAW OF ENGLAND SAYS I MUST BURN.
YOU WILL NOT.
AS FROM THIS HOUR, THAT LAW IS DEAD.
AND IF MY FATHER, THE KING,
HAD KNOWN ABOUT ALL THESE WRONGS
THAT YOU HAVE SUFFERED,
HE NEVER WOULD HAVE PERMITTED IT.
WHEN YOU REFER TO THE KING, YOUR FATHER,
DO YOU SPEAK, UH, FIGURATIVELY,
AS ONE WHO HOLDS THAT THE KING IS FATHER OF ALL THE PEOPLE,
OR DO YOU CLAIM TO BEx ONE OF HIS LATE MAJESTY'S
NUMEROUS BASTARDS?
NEITHER. I'M EDWARD, KING OF ENGLAND.
[LAUGHTER]
DAMN YOU, TOM, HOLD YOUR TONGUE.
HE SAW THE KING DRIVE BY.
THAT WAS AN IMPOSTER,
A PAUPER WHO'S STOLEN MY THRONE.
[LOUD LAUGHTER]
YOUR MAJESTY HAD BETTER HASTEN BACK TO LONDON,
FOR ONCE THEY PUT THAT CROWN ON THAT PAUPER'S HEAD,
IT'S GOOD-BYE TO YOUR THRONE FOREVER.
YES, I MUST GO QUICKLY,
BEFORE I'M TOO LATE.
DON'T FRET, DEARIE!
WE'LL GIVE YOU A CORONATION!
HA! MANDRAKE!
KING TOM.
KING TOM THE BEGGAR. HA HA!
SO, KING OF FOU-FOU.
KING FOU-FOU OF FRANCE!
KING OF THE--
LET'S CROWN HIM!
[LAUGHING]
LET'S CROWN HIM!
CROWN HIM!
ROBE HIM!
SCEPTER HIM!
ROBE HIM!
BE GRACIOUS TO HIS MIGHTY FOU-FOU.
TRAMPLE NOT UPON THY PEOPLE, OH GREAT KING.
OH, PITY THY SLAVES.
REWARD THY HUMBLE SERVANT.
HAIL TO HE, KING FOU-FOU.
KING FOU-FOU!
HONOR ME WITH A GREAT BIG ROYAL KICK UP THE ASS,
YOUR MAJESTY!
[LAUGHING]
OI!
GET HIM!
I'LL GET HIM!
HA HA HA!
HEY!
RUN, BOY!
UHH!
[LAUGHTER]
LET THEM HAVE A FAIR FIGHT...
AS FOUL AS THEY PLEASE.
[MURMURING]
[LAUGHTER]
OHH!
[LAUGHTER]
JUST LOOK AT HUGO!
HUGO, GET UP.
GET UP, HUGO.
[LAUGHTER]
COME ON, HUGO!
[ALL LAUGHING AND SHOUTING]
ARRR...
[LAUGHTER] UNH!
COME ON! [LAUGHTER]
NOW I'M GOING.
LET NO ONE HINDER ME,
AT HIS PERIL.
HEY!
YOU'RE GOIN' NOWHERE.
WHEN I'M CROWNED, MY FIRST TASK
WILL BE TO BUILD A GALLOWS FOR YOU,
SO YOU WILL HANG FOR THE MURDER OF MY FRIEND.
CHILDREN HAVE NO RESPECT FOR THEIR PARENTS NOWADAYS.
YOU'RE STAYIN' RIGHT HERE!
BY GOD, IF YOU TRY RUNNIN' OUT ON ME--
HOLD THERE, BULLY!
DON'T LET PATERNAL AFFECTION
CLOUD YOUR JUDGMENT. LET HIM GO.
MADMAN OR NO, WHOEVER HE IS,
HE'S TOO GOOD FOR YOU.
[SNAPS FINGERS]
PREVENT HIM.
[GRUNTS]
CAREFULLY.
AND LET THE BOY GO.
[GRUNTS]
UNH! YOU...
YOU UNGRATEFUL--
GET UP, YOU!
RRRR...
WHAT--
ARRRGH!
AAAHHH!
AH--AH--
AAH--AAAHHH!
AAH! AAH! AAH!
AAH! AAH--
UHH.
[MUTTERING]
[EXHALES]
[MUTTERING]
[SIGHS]
HE'S DEAD.
INTO THY HANDS, O GOD.
WHY ON EARTH DID YOU BRING HIM HERE?
NOW WE SHALL HAVE TO BURY HIM.
[EXASPERATED SIGH]
[BIRD CALLING]
YOU?
YES, ME.
I'VE BEEN BEATING THIS FOREST FOR HOURS
IN SEARCH OF YOU AND THIS...
RUFFLER'S CAMP.
WHERE'S CANTY?
SOMEWHERE BACK THERE.
THIS MONSTROUS MAN SEIZED HIM.
EXCELLENT.
BUT HE MAY BE KILLING HIM.
EVEN BETTER. COME ON, BOY. HURRY.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO MARRY THE QUEEN OF SCOTLAND.
SHE'S ONLY 6 YEARS OLD.
ROYAL MARRIAGES TAKE NO ACCOUNT OF AGES, SIRE.
AND THE ALTERNATIVE COULD WELL BE WAR,
YOUR MAJESTY.
ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO TO WAR.
I MEAN, MARRIAGE IS A SERIOUS AFFAIR.
IMPOSSIBLE, SIRE.
ANY ACTION AGAINST SCOTLAND
WOULD ALMOST CERTAINLY PROVOKE FRANCE.
OH, THE DEVIL TAKE FRANCE.
BY ALL MEANS, SIRE.
BUT UNTIL HE DOES,
FRANCE WILL REMAIN
AN EVER-PRESENT DANGER TO ENGLAND.
THEN WE'LL MEET IT.
WE'VE ALWAYS BEATEN THE FRENCH.
WE'LL FIGHT THEM.
UNTHINKABLE, YOUR MAJESTY.
WE ARE IN NO CONDITION FOR WAR.
WHICH IS WHY YOUR MAJESTY
MUST DETERMINE OUR POLICY
TOWARDS PARIS AND EDINBURGH.
AND, UH, INDEED, YOUR COUNCILORS
ARE WAITING.
OHH...
OH, I DON'T KNOW!
FRANCE, SCOTLAND,
MARRIAGE, POLICIES.
CAN'T YOU AND THE COUNCIL DECIDE?
WE CAN ONLY ADVISE, SIRE.
THE DECISIONS MUST BE YOUR MAJESTY'S.
WELL, I CANNOT MAKE THEM NOW.
THE COUNCIL WILL HAVE TO WAIT.
MY LORDS,
THE SUN IS SHINING,
AND MY WITS ARE BUZZING WITH ALL THIS CHATTER
ABOUT HAGGIS AND GARLIC.
THE COUNCIL WILL HAVE TO CONSIDER THE MATTERS,
AND YOU'LL HAVE TO DECIDE WHICH IS BEST.
AND COME AND TELL ME ABOUT IT
WHEN IT IS RAINING.
BUT THE SAFETY AND GOOD OF THE--
BUT I CANNOT DECIDE.
I DON'T KNOW.
AS YOUR MAJESTY PLEASES.
NO, JANE, DON'T GO.
WHEW!
[DOOR CLOSES]
YOU SEE WHAT IT IS TO BE A KING?
I DON'T UNDERSTAND HALF OF WHAT THEY SAY.
WHY CAN'T THEY MAKE SOME DECISIONS FOR THEMSELVES?
BECAUSE YOUR MAJESTY'S WORD IS THE LAW.
HMM.
YES, THAT'S TRUE.
KINGS MAY DO AS THEY PLEASE, MAYN'T THEY?
YES, YOUR MAJESTY.
AND THE KING MUST BE OBEYED.
INDEED, YOUR MAJESTY.
WHAT AN EXCELLENT ARRANGEMENT.
CLOSE YOUR EYES.
WELL?
WHATEVER YOUR MAJESTY WISHES
IS YOUR LOYAL SERVANT'S COMMAND.
PLEASE?
KINGS ARE LUCKY DEVILS.
MM.
BUT THE COUNCIL-- SHOULD NOT YOUR MAJESTY--
OH, ANYONE CAN TALK TO THE COUNCIL.
BUT THERE ARE SOME THINGS
A KING MUST DO FOR HIMSELF.
[DOOR OPENS]
PARDON, YOUR MAJESTY.
I HAD THOUGHT TO FIND YOU ALONE.
MY SISTER, NO CEREMONY, PLEASE.
IF I MIGHT SEEK A WORD WITH YOUR MAJESTY IN PRIVATE?
WHY? THERE'S ONLY JANE HERE.
OH, VERY WELL, THEN.
WAIT FOR ME IN THE GARDEN.
zP WELL, BESSIE,
WHAT HAVE YOU COME TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?
I COULD BOX YOUR EARS, BY GOD!
WHAT DO I FIND IN THE CORRIDOR THIS MINUTE?
THE PRIVY COUNCIL OF THE REALM
CHASED OUT LIKE IDLE SCHOOLBOYS
SO THAT YOU CAN PLAY CUPID WITH THAT HUSSY?
HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT!
I'LL DARE MORE THAN THAT.
DO YOU THINK THAT A STATE RUNS ITSELF
OR THAT YOU CAN WAVE ENGLAND'S BUSINESS ASIDE
BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO IDLE OR TOO PEEVISH
OR TOO HOT AFTER THAT SIMPERING BAGGAGE?
I'LL SEE TO HER, GOD HELP ME.
AND I'LL NOT BE RAILED UP BY ANY ROYAL HOYDEN
WHO DOES NOT KNOW HER PLACE
AND FORGETS THE RESPECT DUE TO HER KING!
RESPECT?
RESPECT?!
NOW MARK ME, LITTLE BROTHER.
I MAY FORGET WHAT IS DUE TO YOU,
BUT I SHALL NEVER FORGOT WHAT IS DUE
TO SOMETHING YOU SEEM TO HAVE FORGOTTEN.
AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE?
ENGLAND!
OH, NED.
TO SEE YOU SO--SO CHANGED...
SO CARELESS OF ALL GOVERNMENT,
AND YOUR MINISTERS WAITING LIKE BEGGARS AT THE DOOR
WHILE YOU TRIFLE AWAY THE TIME.
OH, NED.
IT'S NOT WORTHY.
WHAT I DO IS MY AFFAIR, MADAM, NOT YOURS!
I AM THE KING AND I DO NOT NEED YOUR ADVICE.
OR YOUR FISHWIFE TONGUE.
I HAVE YOUR MAJESTY'S LEAVE TO GO?
YES!
I'M THE KING, YOU HEAR?!
AND I'LL DO AS I LIKE AND I'LL RULE AS I PLEASE.
IF' THE DAY EVER COMES WHEN YOU'RE ON THE THRONE,
THEN YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF ENGLAND!
BY GOD I WILL!
Miles: IT'S ONLY A LITTLE WAY NOW.
EVERY MOMENT LOST IS VITAL.
I MUST GET TO LONDON. IF THAT--
OH, MY GOD, NOT THAT AGAIN!
LISTEN, BOY, I'M NOT GOING--
DO NOT "BOY" ME, SIR.
I AM "YOUR MAJESTY."
OH. YOUR MAJESTY'S PARDON.
IF YOUR MAJESTY WILL BE PLEASED
TO TAKE GRACIOUS NOTE
THAT YOUR MAJESTY'S HUMBLE SERVANT IS TIRED,
AND HE IS HUNGRY,
AND HE HAS GOT BLISTERS ON HIS FEET.
NOW, MY HOME IS ONLY JUST DOWN THE HILL,
AND THERE WE CAN REST AND WE CAN EAT
AND WE CAN SLEEP.
AND I SWEAR I'LL SEE YOU SAFE TO LONDON
WHERE YOU CAN BE CROWNED TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT,
MAJESTY.
THERE IT IS.
HENDON HALL.
HOME.
I SEE THE OLD APPLE TREE IS MISSING.
BUT IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.
SINCE YOU WERE LAST HOME?
AYE.
AND IN THAT TIME I'VE FOUGHT FOR PAY FROM...
FROM POLAND TO BARBARY,
FROM--ON THE SCOTTISH MARSHES TO CONSTANTINOPLE.
AND FOR WHICH I HAVE TO SHOW WHAT?
1, 2, 3, 4, 5 WOUNDS
AND £17 IN READY MONEY.
HA HA HA HA!
AND I DREAMED OF RETURNING WITH A FORTUNE, BOY--
UH, MAJESTY.
BUT THIS IS MINE.
MINE!
AND EDITH WILL BE WAITING.
EDITH?
AYE.
THE LADY WHOM I SHALL MARRY.
BUT FIRST LET US SEE HOW MY BROTHER HUGH
.3 HAS BEEN LOOKING AFTER MY INHERITANCE, HMM?
OH.
ROYAL MAJESTY.
HA HA HA!
COME, BOY.
[POUNDING ON DOOR]
HERE, THE HALL.
DO YOU LIKE IT?
LINDER?
HA HA HA HA!
IS IT YOU?
GOOD TO SEE YOU.
SIR, I...
I DO NOT UNDERSTAND.
HA HA HA HA HA!
OH, LORD.
WHO ARE YOU, SIR?
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
HUGH?
HA--HA HA HA!
HAVE THE WARS CHANGED ME THAT MUCH?
I WAS NEVER PRETTY.
IT CAN ONLY BE FOR THE BETTER, SIR.
WHOEVER YOU ARE, YOU ARE MISTAKEN.
I DO NOT KNOW YOU, SIR.
NOR THIS FELLOW, WHOEVER HE MAY BE.
[CHUCKLES]
WELL, AS FOR THIS FELLOW, HE IS MAD,
BUT I, SIR, AM-- AM YOUR BROTHER.
MY BROTHER.
I KNOW THAT THERE IS MORE THAN ONE MADMAN IN MY HALL.
CALL THE GROOMS. OUT THIS FELLOW OUT.
YOUR HALL, SIR?
MY GOD, WILL YOU DENY ME THAT I AM--
[FOOTSTEPS]
EDITH.
I HAVE COME HOME.
EDITH!
YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS MAN.
MY BROTHER MILES IS DEAD THESE LAST 3 YEARS.
THIS IS AN IMPOSTER, SEEKING TO GAIN--Dj
WHAT, ARE YOU MAD?!
YOU LYING FILTH! WHAT VILLAINY IS THIS?
EDITH, IT IS MILES.
SURELY YOU MUST REMEMBER.
WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK?
WHY DO YOU NOT SPEAK?
BECAUSE MY WIFE DOES NOT KNOW YOU, FELLOW.
YOUR WIFE, SIR?
÷D IT IS NOT TRUE.
EDITH, IT IS NOT TRUE.
I AM MILES.
YOU MUST KNOW ME.
SAY I AM NOT MILES HENDON.
SAY I AM NOT MILES HENDON!
AYE.
Hugh: GET HIM OUT.
YOU BASTARD!
YOU TAKE MY NAME,
MY HOME,
MY WOMAN!
UHH!
AAH!
[SHOUTING]
[YELLING]
AAH!
[GRUNTING]
AAH!
AMAZING.
CRAZY FELLOW PRETENDING TO BE MILES.
STILL, NO ONE WILL HEED HIS WILD CLAIMS.
kx WILL THEY?
PUT HIM IN THE VILLAGE STOCKS
SO THAT ALL THE PEOPLE IN THE DISTRICT
CAN LOOK AT HIM
AND SEE THAT HE IS NOT MY UNHAPPY BROTHER.
[MOOING, OINKING, QUACKING]
[COUGHING]
THERE HE IS. MAKE HIM HAPPY.
[JEERING AND LAUGHING]
STOP! STOP, YOU COWARDS!
Man: MAKE WAY THERE!
MAKE WAY FOR THE GENTLEMAN AND HIS LADY!
MAKE WAY!
Hugh: THIS, MY LORD IS THE, UH, PRETENDER
TO HENDON HALL. WOULD YOU BELIEVE IT?
HA HA HA HA! INCREDIBLE!
IS HE A LUNATIC?
POSSIBLY.
EITHER THAT OR A CRIMINAL.
WHAT IS CERTAIN IS THAT HE IS AN IMPOSTER.
NO ONE KNOWS HIM, DO THEY, MY DEAR?
WRONG, BROTHER.
I KNOW.
AND YOU KNOW.
AND I KNOW.
THIS IS MY FRIEND, MILES HENDON.
2 LUNATICS! MUST BE INFECTIOUS.
HA HA!
AYE, LIKE INSOLENCE.
WE HAVE A CURE FOR THAT, TOO.
WILLIAMS?
GIVE THIS NOISY CUB A TASTE OF YOUR WHIP.
LET HIM YELP TO SOME PURPOSE.
Williams: COME, BOY.
YOU DARE?!
YOU'LL DIE FOR THIS!
YOU VERMIN, CAN'T YOU SEE HE'S MAD?
WILL YOU FLOG AN IDIOT?!
IF YOU MUST LASH SOMEBODY, THEN LET IT BE ME.
LET HIM ALONE.
[SPITS]
IF YOU ARE MEN AT ALL...
THEN YOU'LL WHIP ME INSTEAD.
VERY WELL.
TAKE HIM AT HIS WORD.
AND YOU...
YOU CAN SPEAK AS MUC
BUT FOR EVERY WORD YOU UTTER
HE GETS 6 LASHES MORE.
BEGIN.
[LAUGHING]
PLEASE, HUGH!
YOU'RE BRAVE,
GOOD HEART.
THE KING WILL NOT FORGET...
SIR MILES HENDON.
úd MAY GOD FORBID
YOU EVER MAKE ME DUKE, BOY.
[BREATHING HARD]
GO, BOY. GET OUT OF HERE. LEAVE ME.
I SHOULD-- I SHOULD DO WELL ENOUG.
IT'S FOLLY TO STAY.
I'M NOT "BOY," SIR MILES.
A KNIGHT SHOULD KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS HIS KING.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
MILES.
IT'S TRULY YOU.
OH, GOD. YOU'RE HOME AGAIN.
vp EDITH.
THERE, SIR.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD, THAT YOU WOULD NEVER COME.
SO MANY YEARS AND NO WORD FROM YOU,
AND YET ALWAYS I WAITED.
AND THEN 3 YEARS AGO HUGH SHOWED ME A LETTERkh
THAT SAID--SAID YOU'D BEEN KILLED IN GERMANY,
AND I THOUGHT I SHOULD DIE, TOO.
AS FOR THE LETTER, IT WAS FORGED.
BUT WHY DID YOU NOT KNOW ME?
HE KNEW YOU WERE COMING.
ONE OF THE GROOMS SAW YOU ON YOUR WAY HERE.
HE SAID NO ONE MUST RECOGNIZE YOU,
THAT IF ANYONE DID, HE WOULD KILL YOU.
HE SAID EVERYONE MUST DENY THAT YOU WERE MILES HENDON.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW POWERFUL HE'S BECOME.
WHY, THE PEOPLE HERE GO IN TERROR OF HIM.
IS THAT WHY YOU MARRIED HIM?
IS IT?
OUT OF FEAR?
NO.
HE HELD MY FATHER'S DEBTS.
YOU KNOW HOW POOR WE WERE.
AND THEN WHEN I THOUGHT...
YOU WERE DEAD.
[CRYING]
OHH.
NEVER MIND.
IT DOESN'T MATTER.
THERE ARE HORSES FOR YOU AND YOUR FRIEND.
YOU MUST GO QUICKLY,
BEFORE HUGH DISCOVERS YOU'VE ESCAPED.
I WILL GO NO FURTHER THAN HENDON HALL.
I HAVE AN INSTRUMENT OF DIVORCE TO SERVE UPON MY BROTHER
AND IT IS MADE OF SPANISH STEEL.
NO, MILES, NO.
HE'LL HAVE YOU KILLED OR KIDNAPPED AND SOLD OVERSEAS.
HE CAN DO IT.
HE HAS THE POWER AND GREAT FRIENDS AT COURT.
WE'RE GOING TO THE CORONATION TOMORROW
OF THE NEW KING.
SIR MILES HAS A GREATER FRIEND
AT COURT, LADY.
HE SHALL HAVE BACK HIS INHERITANCE.
BUT WHAT MATTERS IS THAT YOU ARE ALIVE AND FREE.
-< BUT THERE'S NO HOPE FOR YOU HERE, NOT NOW.
NO ONE WILL EVER DARE TO RECOGNIZE YOU.
YOU MUST LEAVE, MILES,
QUICKLY.
FOR MY SAKE.
PLEASE.
AYE.
I WILL LEAVE IT.
BUT ONLY FOR YOUR SAKE.
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
u Miles: AM I TO SCOUT THE COUNTRY LIKE A THIEF
OR A PAUPER WITHOUT A NAME? HMM?
EVEN SHOUTING FROM THE ROOFTOPS
THAT I'M MILES HENDON AND NOBODY WILL BELIEVE ME.
AM I TO BE A RAGGED SHADOW,
UNRECOGNIZED, DISINHERITED, LOST,
STARING AT MYSELF IN THE MIRROR,
ASKING WHO I AM AND NOT GETTING AN ANSWER?
GOD, THAT IS MADNESS, BOY.
THAT'S WHAT EVERYONE WILL SAY...
THAT YOU'RE MAD.
÷ YOU MAY TELL THEM WHO YOU ARE,
BUT THEY'LL ONLY LAUGH AND MOCK AT YOU.
OR BEAT YOU OR SET YOU IN THE STOCKS.
BUT THEY WON'T BELIEVE YOU.
I KNOW.
NO MATTER HOW HARD YOU TELL THEM,
THEY'LL JUST CALL YOU A MADMAN.
I'M NO MADMAN, BOY.
I KNOW WHO I AM.
DO YOU?
SO DO I.
BUT NO ONE BELIEVES ME.
WHY SHOULD THEY BELIEVE YOU?
WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU,
YOU WHO WON'T BELIEVE ME?
WHERE'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US?
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
TO LONDON.
IF I DO NOT,
THEY WILL CROWN AN IMPOSTER IN MY PLACE.
AND WHEN I AM CROWNED,
YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR NAME AGAIN
AND YOUR LADY...
AND YOUR INHERITANCE.
I SHALL DO JUSTICE.
NOT ONLY FOR YOU,
BUT FOR ALL THIS LAND.
FOR ALL THE POOR...
DISPOSSESSED,
AND PERSECUTED.
I HAVE SEEN THEM ALONG THE ROAD
AND BEEN ONE OF THEM.
@ AND THEY SHALL HAVE RIGHT.
MAJESTY.
MY KING.
Z MY KING.
HERE COMES THE KING!
[FANFARE]
[BELLS RINGING]
DO I... LOOK VERY FOOLISH?
YOUR MAJESTY COULD NEVER LOOK THAT.
MY MAJESTY...
IT'S A PERILOUS THING, THIS MAJESTY.
JANE...
I LOVE YOU...
AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU.
DO YOU LOVE ME?
I HAVE TOLD YOUR MAJESTY SO.
"MY MAJESTY."
BUT SUPPOSE I WERE NO MAJESTY,
BUT SOME ORDINARY FELLOW.
NOT EDWARD TUDOR,
BUT HARRY
OR DICK
OR TOM.
WOULD YOU LOVE ME THEN?
WOULD YOU BE CONTENT
TO BE THE WIFE OF SUCH A MAN?
I COULD NEVER HELP LOVING YOU.
- BUT I CONFESS,
I'D RATHER BE QUEEN JANE THAN MRS. TOM.
WELL...THAT'S HONEST.
BUT SINCE YOU ARE KING
AND SOON TO BE CROWNED, WHAT'S TO MATTER?
[CHEERING]
INCONVENIENT,
THE ESCAPE OF THAT IMPOSTER,
WAS IT NOT?
STILL, IT NEED NOT TROUBLE US.
WHEN WE HAVE KISSED THE HAND
OF THE NEW-CROWNED KING
AT WESTMINSTER ABBEY,
THEN WE SHALL BE NICELY IN THE SADDLE.
NOW, REMEMBER, BOY--
UH, YOUR MAJESTY, LEAVE THE FIGHTING TO ME.
IT'S MY TRADE. HMM?
YES. AND IN 10 YEARS OF THAT TRADE
YOU MADE, UH, £17, I THINK.
FORGIVE ME, SIR MILES,
BUT I'VE SEEN YOU FIGHT 3 TIMES.
ONCE WE RAN AWAY AND TWICE YOU LOST.
Gé [HORSES APPROACH]
YOU MUST DO BETTER FOR YOUR KING.
YES, WELL, IF YOUR MAJESTY WILL BE GRACIOUS
TO PLEASE GET RID OF THE DRIVER,
I SHALL, UH, LEAP THROUGH THE WINDOW. COME, SIRE.
YAAH!
AAH!
HYAH! HYAH!
HERE!
PUT THIS ON.
HYAH!
HYAH! HYAH!
IMPOSTER.
PRETENDER.
MILES! MILES.
PRETENDER, MILES-- WHICH AM I, THEN?
WHICH AM I?!
' MILES-- MY BROTHER MILES.
YOU SEEM TO HAVE THE FACILITY
TO CHANGE YOUR MIND FROM MINUTE TO MINUTE.
NO, MILES, NO! YOU'LL KILL HIM.
THAT WAS MY GENERAL INTENTION.
QUICK, HELP ME GET HIS CLOTHES OFF.
WHAT?
HELP ME, WOMAN!
[CHEERING]
AAH! AAH!
[GRUNTING]
IS THE DAMN FELLOW SOME KIND OF A MIDGET?
ARE YOU SOME KIND OF A MIDGET?!
[MUFFLED]
[TRIUMPHAL MUSIC PLAYING AND CHOIR SINGING ALLELUIA]
OUR INVITATIONS, CAPTAIN.
SORRY, SIR, YOU'RE TOO LATE.
THE CEREMONY'S BEGUN.
NONSENSE, SIR.
THIS IS THE LORD OF HENDON HALL,
AND I AM HIS LADY.
YOU WILL ADMIT US, SIR, AT ONCE.
I BEG YOUR PARDON, MY LADY.
DRIVE ON.
WOULD YOU PLEASE HURRY, SIR.
'TIS PLAIN TO SEE.
[BANGING AND MUFFLED SHOUTING]
[MUFFLED SHOUTING]
WHAT'S THIS, SIR?
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
YOU MAY NOT KNOW IT,
BUT WE ARE CLOSE TO HIS MAJESTY.
EXTREMELY CLOSE.
STOP THAT MAN!
HE'S AN IMPOSTER! TRAITOR!
GET INSIDE!
♪ ALLELUIA ♪
BOLT THE DOOR!
OH!
♪ ALLELUIA ♪ [SHOUTING]
GUARD!
♪ ALLELUIA ♪
♪ ALLELU... ♪
YAH!
GO GET YOUR CROWN, BOY!
♪ ALLELUIA , ALLELUIA ♪
CLOSE THE DOOR!
Edward: STOP!
[MURMURING]
THY HEAD IS FORFEIT.
THAT IS NOT THE KING.
I AM EDWARD OF ENGLAND. I AM THE KING.
TAKE THAT MAN OUT!
GUARDS, SEIZE HIM!
WAIT! IT'S TRUE.
HE IS EDWARD.
I'M NOT THE KING.
YOUR MAJESTY.
BUT, YOUR MAJESTY.
SIRE?
[CROWD GASPS]
I WAS NOT A GOOD KING, SIRE.
I WAS NOT A GOOD PAUPER.
IN GOD'S NAME, MY LORD, LOOK AT THEM!
[MURMURING]
BUT, UH, WHICH IS WHICH?
YOU HAVE HEARD US BOTH, MY LORD.
I AM THE KING.
THAT IS TOM CANTY.
THAT'S A FACT, MY LORD.
BUT THAT'S NO PROOF.
YOU HAVE OUR WORD, SIR.
WHAT OTHER PROOF IS NEEDED?
SOMETHING MORE THAN THE WORD
OF A RASCAL IN RAGS!
Miles: SHOW THE SEAL, BOY!
YOUR MAJESTY!
IF YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE ME,
WILL YOU BELIEVE THE PRINCE OF WALES' SEAL?
AH, THAT WOULD BE PROOF INDEED,
FOR ONLY HE THAT WAS THE PRINCE OF WALES
COULD HAVE IT.
Edward: VERY WELL, THEN.
BUT I HAD IT!
ARREST THAT IMPOSTOR!
BACK! WHOEVER TOUCHES HIM PERILS HIS LIFE.
IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR, YOUR MAJESTY?
YOU DROPPED IT IN THE SCUFFLE.
PROOF, MY LORD?
IT IS THE PRINCE'S SEAL.
YOUR MAJESTY.
GOD SAVE THE TRUE KING!
[CHEERING]
WAIT!
LET HIM BE.
THIS IS MY FRIEND, TOM.
[WHISTLING]
[GROANING]
[MURMURING]
GET UP, SIR!
GET UP! YOU ARE SITTING IN THE PRESENCE OF THE KING!
LET HIM SIT.
IT IS HIS RIGHT.
[TRIUMPHAL MUSIC PLAYS]
Norfolk, narrating: EDWARD VI WAS CROWNED KING OF ENGLAND
IN WESTMINSTER ABBEY ON THE 20th OF FEBRUARY 1547.
ONE OF HIS FIRST ACTS AS KING
WAS TO MAKE TOM CANTY A ROYAL WARD
AND APPOINT HIM CHIEF OF THE GOVERNORS
OF CHRIST'S HOSPITAL, LONDON.
AND SO THE THIEF AND PAUPER
BECAME CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD.
BEING A DUTIFUL SON,
TOM CONTINUED TO LOOK AFTER HIS MOTHER.
AND WITH THE MONEY HE GAVE HER, THE POOR WIDOW CANTY
STARTED A PROPERTY AND REAL ESTATE BUSINESS
PROVIDING SLUM DWELLINGS FOR THE POOR.
IN THIS WAY, OFFAL COURT
EVENTUALLY SPREAD OVER MOST OF LONDON.
LADY JANE, DISAPPOINTED AT NOT BECOMING QUEEN,
JILTED TOM AND MARRIED AN EXTREMELY RICH DUKE.
HOWEVER, SHE AND TOM CONTINUED TO MEET IN SECRET,
AND SO LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
FROM TIME TO TIME.
THE DUKE OF NORFOLK,
WHOSE KINDNESS AND HUMANITY HAD SO IMPRESSED TOM,
CELEBRATED HIS ESCAPE OF THE EXECUTION
BY REGAINING POLITICAL POWER
AND WREAKING VENGEANCE ON HIS ENEMIES.
THEY DIED VIOLENTLY ON THE SCAFFOLD.
THE KINDLY DUKE SURVIVED INTO HIS 80s,
HAVING OUTLIVED PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.
SIR MILES HENDON AND LADY EDITH WERE MARRIED
AND RETURNED TO HENDON HALL,
WHERE SHE DROVE HIM TO DRINK.
[NO AUDIO]
ONE RESULT OF THIS WAS THAT HE NOT ONLY SAT,
BUT FREQUENTLY LAY INTOXICATED IN THE ROYAL PRESENCE.
[BELCHES]
[LAUGHS]
HIS WICKED BROTHER HUGH,
HAVING AGREED TO A DIVORCE FROM EDITH,
FLED TO AMERICA,
WHERE HE ENJOYED A SUCCESSFUL POLITICAL CAREER.
THE RUFFLER ORGANIZED HIS STURDY BEGGARS
ON A DUE-PAYING BASIS
AND SO BECAME THE FIRST FULL-TIME TRADE UNION LEADER.
PRINCESS ELIZABETH, SISTER TO EDWARD VI,
BECAME QUEEN IN HER OWN RIGHT WHEN SHE WAS 25
AND RULED FOR 45 YEARS.
AS SHE HAD PROMISED,
SHE TOOK GOOD CARE OF ENGLAND.